Child Stardom

Just follow my tangent for a minute; I'll get to the punchline soon. I've been playing the violin since I was 5. I've heard stories all my life about what classical musicians endure, and I've got personal stories as well. Some are good, some not so good.

If you're a lousy parent and don't want to interact with your child, you start them on a classical instrument, lock them in their room 4-5 hours a day to practice, and voila! Kid is as good as invisible. I heard of one violinist who slammed his hand in a door frame and broke his fingers at age 17 so he didn't have to prance around like a trained poodle at competitions anymore. Michael Rabin killed himself in his 30s because he's been pushed to hard with the practicing all his life. I've heard stories about high suicide rates in Juilliard also. Not confirmed. I was personally off at summer conservatory, practicing 4-5 hours a day for a month at a time. I'd watch ants on the ground and stare at the trees while I practiced outside, completely bored. At least with the classical music practicing or hard-core studying that parents prescribe to get free babysitting, the child develops useful skills. I'm glad I learned the violin and went to a decent college, but I was pimped out all the same.

The Lohan, Spears, Cyrus, and Simpson clans are a different story. It can be argued that Spears has some talent, but it's a horrifying machine for these children. Arguably worse than mine. At least I wasn't exposed to a huge world of paparazzi, screaming fans, zero privacy, Hollywood vultures, and kitschy artistic mediocrity. I would have more respect for the parents if they pushed their children into high level music/acting lessons, allowed them to dictate their own terms of involvement in the outside world, pushed them to get college educations to develop their minds, or protected them from substances/vultures better. Mediocrity kills, and abolute mediocrity kills absolutely. The Simpson girls know they're lousy, you know? Lousy stupid dad!

Why I'm Obsessed

Why do I get so obsessed? I hate the polished patina that celebs present the world. I hate the way their agents lie to the press about their relationships. I mean, cmon. How long was Beyonce NOT officially in a relationship? And why not? Jay Z is a catch, OK? Weird. And Rihanna? Cmon! And I HATE that Aniston's rep lied so many times. I hate that Jessica Simpson's dad is such a tool and has so much power over her, which is destroying her life. I know the celeb thing is hard, OK? But it's like knowing your eye color, knowing if you're in a relationship. Right? I hate PR machines that string me along. I hate that Lohan's PR said she was drinking "kombucha" a year or so ago. I am addicted to Kombucha. Lohan is NOT a kombucha drinker, OK? Just not! I hate that Lohan is lying to the press now, claiming that she's clean, and that the press can enable her to stay sick. Once upon a time, back in the Bennifer #1 days, I read US Weekly religiously, and I got sick of reading what Benny Medina wanted me to know about her. Her weekly schedule! How early she gets up in the morning! What she cooks for Ben, and how normal she is! Puleeze. JLo was entirely PR manufactured, but in the process, she became oversaturated everywhere and it pissed me off. Don't get me wrong, there's the "glow" and she's charming and she has some innate rhythm/singing thing. But now she's a clotheshorse married to a spider monkey, OK? Boring! And I was bored in 2002, reading about every freaking bowel movement she made. Ugh!