Sant Rajinder Singh and Gossip

The last time I went to Chicago to see Sant Rajinder Singh Ji Maharaj, someone asked him about gossip. He thought for a minute and said it's no good for you. Um, he's right! 

The good thing about Lainey Gossip is that she exposes the horrible fame seeking behavior of the starts and calls it like it is: ego, pride, one-upmanship, shamelessness, publicists whitewashing evil deeds because they have to, pregnancy to wipe an evil slate clean, etc. It's the same reason that I used to love VH1's "Behind the Music." I'm a musician, playing in a rock band in little bars and clubs. Sometimes other musicians are high or drunk. Not necessarily the ones in my band, but there you go. And sometimes bar patrons are drunk too. I don't drink at all, but I'm very miserable when I see talented people wasting away. 

The morality tale of how substance abuse and egos can run amok is very important to me. I am glad that I avoid temptation. Drugs, alcohol, and ego can wreck your life. I've seen it! So to the divine Sant Rajinder, I will avoid the mean spirited gossip and the blind items now. I am just happy to stick with morality tales, and that's meant to encourage me to stay humble and substance free, OK? Thank you!

Christmas woes

Items eliminated the past couple of days: Tiger Woods and Russell Crowe (Cuba), and Josh Brolin, Daniel Craig, and Justin Timberlake (Chocolate). Only one on the table for me was Russell Crowe. Odd list, right?

Anyway, I love Christmas. I'm just celebrating it with everyone in the middle of January this year! My fiance, Steve, has a membership in a good vacation discount company (planwithtan), so we're headed to the Poconos for a week. I'm cooking enough food, including Christmas dinner, for the entire week, and my kitchen in the Poconos consists of a waist-high fridge, microwave (which we won't use), a toaster oven/crockpot (which we purchased today), a toaster, and a coffeemaker.

It's nuts. I had a gig earlier tonight and I have a gig tomorrow night. I have to do the laundry and pack the clothes, too. So I'll celebrate later! For now, I'm off. I'll practice the mandolin, and Steve will ski, and we'll heat reheated food out of a crockpot in front of a fire in a cabin in the woods. Yay! Happy holidays everyone! Please send me your thoughts about the Cuba/Chocolate blind item if you want to sort it out with me, too.

Favorite Movies

I used to be a snob. I would only watch a movie with subtitles, and I was an art-house movie freak when I lived in NYC. Then I went through a major romcom phase. Anything with JLo, Julia Roberts, or Sandra Bullock was my fave. So it's an immense dichotomy, which I'm still trying to resolve.

All time snob favorites: Wings of Desire, The Eighth Day, Blue, Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown, Talk to her, There Will Be Blood, No Country For Old Men, La Dolce Vita, Wild Strawberries, Children of Paradise, The Seventh Sign, Out of Africa, Howl's Moving Castle, Princess Mononoke, Story of the Weeping Camel, Wild Parrots of Telegraph Hill, 7 Up, An Inconvenient Truth, North by Northwest, Walk the Line, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and Being John Malkovich.

All time non-snob favorites: Wedding Planner, While You Were Sleeping, Pretty Woman, Just Like Heaven, 13 Going on 30, Twilight, Notting Hill, Runaway Bride, What Women Want, Maid in Manhattan, Monster in Law, Kate & Leopold, Love Actually, Sleepless in Seattle, When Harry Met Sally, Moonstruck, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, and Enchanted.

I check rotten tomatoes to see what critics say about movies before I go to them nowadays, so I see less trash and buy into less hype. Something about a $9 ticket does that to me. The only thing that created "want-see" for me lately was Twilight. I don't regret it. Strangely, even though my recent snob pick, "Burn Before Reading" was highly rated, I would only give it a 6. Okay plot, and cute, but not the Coen brothers' greatest, either. When you're a genius and you make a good movie, it's disappointing when it's not great. It's weird that I think this, especially with the amount of trash that I watch!

Child Stardom

Just follow my tangent for a minute; I'll get to the punchline soon. I've been playing the violin since I was 5. I've heard stories all my life about what classical musicians endure, and I've got personal stories as well. Some are good, some not so good.

If you're a lousy parent and don't want to interact with your child, you start them on a classical instrument, lock them in their room 4-5 hours a day to practice, and voila! Kid is as good as invisible. I heard of one violinist who slammed his hand in a door frame and broke his fingers at age 17 so he didn't have to prance around like a trained poodle at competitions anymore. Michael Rabin killed himself in his 30s because he's been pushed to hard with the practicing all his life. I've heard stories about high suicide rates in Juilliard also. Not confirmed. I was personally off at summer conservatory, practicing 4-5 hours a day for a month at a time. I'd watch ants on the ground and stare at the trees while I practiced outside, completely bored. At least with the classical music practicing or hard-core studying that parents prescribe to get free babysitting, the child develops useful skills. I'm glad I learned the violin and went to a decent college, but I was pimped out all the same.

The Lohan, Spears, Cyrus, and Simpson clans are a different story. It can be argued that Spears has some talent, but it's a horrifying machine for these children. Arguably worse than mine. At least I wasn't exposed to a huge world of paparazzi, screaming fans, zero privacy, Hollywood vultures, and kitschy artistic mediocrity. I would have more respect for the parents if they pushed their children into high level music/acting lessons, allowed them to dictate their own terms of involvement in the outside world, pushed them to get college educations to develop their minds, or protected them from substances/vultures better. Mediocrity kills, and abolute mediocrity kills absolutely. The Simpson girls know they're lousy, you know? Lousy stupid dad!

Owen Wilson

Man, I love Owen and Luke Wilson. Luke is very ill and on the D list from booze, and Owen lost Kate Hudson and is going downhill fast from drugs. Plus, Owen's face looks like Fergie's now; completely bloated, busted up, and sad. Ugh. Fine looking men, not treating work like work, getting caught up in the celebrity machine and substances. What is up with Hollywood? When you go to parties, do you have someone there telling you to take substances or you won't get a job? Well?

I dated a man once who was well-off, articulate, handsome, and good-looking. He took me out for a show and dinner in NYC, then wanted to show me his penthouse. He was most proud of his expensive car, fine wine, thin speakers, and of the view of NY from the window. I felt so hollow looking out those windows with him standing next to me. It felt like the devil tempting Jesus, standing on a mountain top with him and telling him he could have the whole world. I felt sick and had to get out of there. Similarly, a smarmy (and, scary but true, legit) modeling agent in NYC told me he would make me a supermodel as long as I never told him the word NO. Meaning, I had to sleep with clients, whatever he/they said. I stood up for my virtue and was told that I was the outcast, that I couldn't live in the apartment with the other girls, and I would have to get a job as a waitress while he sent me off for one test shoot. A 16 year old Asian girl walked in the office then, and he told me that SHE was completely obedient to him, so she got to live in the big apartment and he trusted her completely. The girls had nursed him back to health from a bad cocaine addiction and he owed them his life. The girl could not look me in the eye. I never went back. Some things just aren't worth your soul.

I think Owen and Luke suffered from the temptation somewhere and got caught. 6 months to a year in rehab would be the solution to keep from dying at this point. Has anyone seen Luke lately? He was in a movie with Jessica Simpson, and that was the last I heard of him. Get well, people! Don't listen to the Hollywood devils anymore! Get into rehab, OK? Thank you!

Twilight Sequel: WTF?

What is the matter with Summit Pictures? They had a perfectly fine golden egg and just killed their golden goose. Firing Catherine Hardwicke was a dumb thing to do.

OK, from their perspective, right, they can make the movie for the same amount of money, and the teenagers will still come. I see this same nonsense everywhere. Trust me. I'm a musician. People are always selling me out for a cheaper wedding musician or a band with less talent. Sometimes they hire a violinist at a high school level to do the job, then realize their mistake too late. Might as well put a karaoke machine on stage. But it's not art.

I guess Summit figures that Stephanie Meyer is a lousy enough writer that they can skimp on the budget. One argument: Attack of the Killer Tomatoes is one of my favorite movies of all time, and it had a budget under $100K. New topic: does Stephanie Meyer's work deserve to be treated as art, or is it OK that Summit Entertainment chooses to use her work as a cash cow, all business?

My newest topics in celebrity gossip

It's funny how a birthday, when you're a girl in your late thirties, shifts your perceptions of things. Almost like having a kid, not that I've even done that yet. There's another problem. So I've gone mentally goth all of a sudden. Some of this gothness comes from a close friend of mine suddenly dying in his 50s, leaving behind a wife and teenage son. God bless Bill Trout.

Watching old episodes of "What's My Line" on youtube, I see all the stars in the 50s. Liz Taylor (again with that, I know), Milton Berle, Jerry Lewis, Red Skelton. When 30+ years of your own life pass by, you see people who were young when you were a child, and you see how they age. All the stars who were in their peak when I was young are now have 30 years added on them, too. They're all 60-80 years old, when you add the 30 years. And it freaks me out to look at facebook, because all my classmates are also my age. They look good, mind you, but it still freaks me out to be middle aged.

Anyway, I find it hard to be interested in airheads, druggies, losers, fameseekers, and bimbos right now. That pretty much crosses off most of the A and B list of celebrities, right? So who's left? The actors who let the job just be a job, and the actors who were once the shining stars who fell out of grace because of OLD AGE. Native people would never abandon their elders this way. We're all getting older. Some are too young or vain to think this. In this respect, my list of IN and OUT (thank you Heidi Klum):

IN: Matt Damon, Meryl Streep, Sissy Spacek, Robert Downey Jr., Jon Stewart, Britney Spears/Anne Hathaway (unfortunately, heartbreak brings maturity to a woman).

OUT: Tom Cruise, Hiltons, Lohans, Pam Anderson, Aniston, Simpsons (Bronx Mowgli, table of zero), the Wilson brothers (sorry, love them, but they need rehab STAT), Joaquin Phoenix, Olsen twins (coffee table book called INFLUENCE? Please!), Sienna Miller, Victoria Beckham.

There is a third category. There are people who are talented enough that they can pull off being brats: Jack Nicholson, the Brange, Billy Bob Thornton, Barbra Streisand, Aretha Franklin, Kathy Griffin, Oprah, KANYE WEST (long live the SQUID BRAIN! Who writes in ALL CAPS! But I really love the song Gold Digger, OK? And I blew off a chance to play violin in his band because I had an iron-clad prior gig, which I will always regret!), Sean Penn.

I'll add more when I've taken more meds for my mid-life depression and eaten some more bon bons. Oh, and please feel free to comment on this, or submit your own IN/OUT lists. I know: what, we're accountants now? But it's amusing, and a good memento mori, and helps pass the time.