Well, the absolute freedom of having my own blog means I can write about anything I want. I don't have the ENORMOUS pressure that Lainey and Michael K and the rest do to entertain through observation. I'm hoping that, when future blind items come up, I can muse and puzzle them out with everyone, sherlock-holmes style. But in the meanwhile, it's a slow season, right?
I was reading an poorly written text on celebrity culture a few years ago. I keep thinking about the nature of tabloid journalism. What are the sociological forces driving this phenomenon? My grandfather recalls newspapers and magazines in the 40s; you could buy "real news" for half the price of the hollywood gossip sheets. And what did they discuss? I'm actually very interested in Hedda Hopper, and the evolution through Cindy Adams to our dear internet bloggers. Evening TV news has never been highbrow, but more often now, the news resembles a gossip rag.
At first, I'm sure the Hollywood studios had to create press for their charges in order to sell movie tickets. I have heard of people hired to scream as a new celeb arrived somewhere, then some clued-in photographers caught the scene, and -viola!- a star was born. I heard a rumor that some of the Beatles screamers were planted; am I right? I am really curious about what things were like for Hepburn, Vivien Leigh, Liz Taylor, and all the rest. The standards were similar to Disney standards, in terms of rigid sexual purity.
Why does our culture embrace celebrity so strongly? Why are so many shows dedicated to a tiny roster of A and B list people? Lainey's assertion that Jen Aniston and Angelina Jolie's likeness and false stories about them may decide a magainze's profitability really chills me. We've come full circle. The celebs themselves are keeping tabloid journalism afloat! It used to be a sideline column in the regular news.
These poor actors entertain us, but there's something about the mentality of wanting fame for its own sake that doesn't attract balanced people. The paparazzi culture is full of such vicious vultures now, scrapping for whatever embarrassing picture they can wrangle out of these entertainers. Wouldn't it be frightening to go outside, go to dinner, go to the movies? Ugh.
In Chaucer's book "House of Fame," there is an enormous house made out of ice in the middle of the desert. Names of famous people are in danger of melting, or are half-melted already. Every so often, Aeolus's horn blows to announce a new person made famous (beautiful sound, smells like roses) or infamous (nasty sound, smells like farts) . In a fickle world, in a youth culture, with all the impossible standards in place, every single celeb runs out of time and faces a melting ice house in a desert. Liz Taylor, the most beautiful woman in the world, now faces her mortality. It's rough, this memento mori, but it helps me get past the brutal, shallow, grasping nature of the bite of fame.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Violin, personal and professional notes
Just joined a wedding band, which is cutting edge enough to play AC/DC, Rihanna, James Brown, etc. I love being in a wedding band. I love playing AD/DC and Metallica on the violin in a wedding band. I also play solo weddings, and go to great lengths sometimes for them. On Halloween, I played "Thriller" and "Monster Mash" solo for a cocktail hour. In August, I played 4 hours of Irish and Scottish music for a reception. I learn stuff by ear. My colleagues in the area, specifically my mandolin and flute playing friends, are awesome, too. I have a lot of fun.
This is all nothing compared to my South Indian violin teacher, Adrian L'Armand. He's getting older and I'm his last Indian violin student. I get up at 5 in the morning every week, travel by train to Swarthmore PA for a lesson, then take the train back home. Adrian gives me everything he has. And I mean: everything. Every rhythm trick, every song, every discussion is from his whole heart. I have never had a teacher like him. In India, they call your teacher your guru. Adrian is that for me.
This is all nothing compared to my South Indian violin teacher, Adrian L'Armand. He's getting older and I'm his last Indian violin student. I get up at 5 in the morning every week, travel by train to Swarthmore PA for a lesson, then take the train back home. Adrian gives me everything he has. And I mean: everything. Every rhythm trick, every song, every discussion is from his whole heart. I have never had a teacher like him. In India, they call your teacher your guru. Adrian is that for me.
Why Do I Like Twilight? Part 3 (movie)
The movie was shot in an unusually dark range of tones. Over saturated color, like the photos from the mid 90s. Overdone look, and we've been done with the goth thing since 1997. I know it's a teenage vampire movie, and there's little sunshine in Forks, but come on! Try to use some artistry in the cinematography, OK? Yuck. Like staring at a Joel Peter Witkin picture, or old Trent Reznor video. OVERDONE, people!
That said, I loved the stupid movie. I got caught up in the "romance" aspect again. Thank god for Kristen Stewart. She didn't say all the maudlin crap, which spared me from the worst dialogue. I was amazed at how fresh the plot felt. They tightened it up a bit, made some plot points different for the sake of tying all the strands together (which Meyer didn't really do, OK?), which made the movie flow better. I was also amazed at how I wanted to watch the love story unfold. I'd read the thing, so I knew what was going on in everyone's heads, so maybe Pattinson's constipated angry face didn't register as being stupid because I knew what was happening. I was like a little kid who can't read yet who is happy to go to a movie to see how Curious George plays out, something like that. Like I was just happy to see the thing brought to life.
I loved the scenes where Edward ran/flew with Bella on his back, and where he repelled the van. The audience gasped along with me. I laughed a LOT at some of the dialogue. Couldn't help it. But it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Would I naturally pick Pattinson as a romantic partner? Definitely not. He's not my type. But I can see why the 16 year olds are into him. I get it. Because he's not my type, though, the kiss didn't do so much for me. But please, not Jeffrey Dean Morgan as a ghost! God, I hate Grey's Anatomy SO MUCH now.
OK, enough of this! On to other things.
That said, I loved the stupid movie. I got caught up in the "romance" aspect again. Thank god for Kristen Stewart. She didn't say all the maudlin crap, which spared me from the worst dialogue. I was amazed at how fresh the plot felt. They tightened it up a bit, made some plot points different for the sake of tying all the strands together (which Meyer didn't really do, OK?), which made the movie flow better. I was also amazed at how I wanted to watch the love story unfold. I'd read the thing, so I knew what was going on in everyone's heads, so maybe Pattinson's constipated angry face didn't register as being stupid because I knew what was happening. I was like a little kid who can't read yet who is happy to go to a movie to see how Curious George plays out, something like that. Like I was just happy to see the thing brought to life.
I loved the scenes where Edward ran/flew with Bella on his back, and where he repelled the van. The audience gasped along with me. I laughed a LOT at some of the dialogue. Couldn't help it. But it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Would I naturally pick Pattinson as a romantic partner? Definitely not. He's not my type. But I can see why the 16 year olds are into him. I get it. Because he's not my type, though, the kiss didn't do so much for me. But please, not Jeffrey Dean Morgan as a ghost! God, I hate Grey's Anatomy SO MUCH now.
OK, enough of this! On to other things.
Why Do I Like Twilight? Part 2 (book)
The whole "Bella is so beautiful and dazzling" thing is annoying, and IMO, Meyer's Brigham Young training seeps into the non-premarital-sex thing, and the whole "girl is beautiful and everyone is throwing themselves at her" mantra. I scared some Mormon boys off once, telling them that I was so feminist that their brains would bleed around me. But sometimes the devotion is worth it, I guess? Tradeoffs of security in life? I see too many tradeoffs in the world. On the flip side, I guess it could be argued that it's OK for teenagers to have an example finally of teen characters who don't jump in the sack like animals. There's that, too.
Do I really like the Bella/Edward romance? Yes and no. I'm tired of it by the end of the second book. I mean, really weary. You cry through one whole book for some monster, then try to kill yourself? Run off with Jacob, for God's sake! He's hot! God, I'm middle aged, and it's pervy to say this, but Taylor Lautner in the movie is the best-looking part of the whole thing. I digress. I feel tired for Bella, like she must herself be jaded by all the adoration. Really obnoxious and overstated after a while. I wouldn't want it for myself, so obvious and in-your-face all the time. People that have to say it constantly are usually the biggest con artists of all, you know? What is said is itself and its opposite, yadda yadda.
I was annoyed by the plot outline of the books. Like it was plotted out over a 4 book story arc, just to string me along so I would buy 4 books. Not organic at all. Yes, Meyer loves Bella like a daughter, I get it. But I feel like the kid marketed to for a Happy Meal. I'm vegetarian anyway, but you know? It's not art. It's commerce, cold commerce, cold cash. Kitsch, greasy like French fries, maudlin, sentimental, and laborious. I love it, but there it is.
Do I really like the Bella/Edward romance? Yes and no. I'm tired of it by the end of the second book. I mean, really weary. You cry through one whole book for some monster, then try to kill yourself? Run off with Jacob, for God's sake! He's hot! God, I'm middle aged, and it's pervy to say this, but Taylor Lautner in the movie is the best-looking part of the whole thing. I digress. I feel tired for Bella, like she must herself be jaded by all the adoration. Really obnoxious and overstated after a while. I wouldn't want it for myself, so obvious and in-your-face all the time. People that have to say it constantly are usually the biggest con artists of all, you know? What is said is itself and its opposite, yadda yadda.
I was annoyed by the plot outline of the books. Like it was plotted out over a 4 book story arc, just to string me along so I would buy 4 books. Not organic at all. Yes, Meyer loves Bella like a daughter, I get it. But I feel like the kid marketed to for a Happy Meal. I'm vegetarian anyway, but you know? It's not art. It's commerce, cold commerce, cold cash. Kitsch, greasy like French fries, maudlin, sentimental, and laborious. I love it, but there it is.
Why Do I Like Twilight? Part 1 (franchise, book)
Hey, movie making America! I'm going to pick my fevered female brain for 5 minutes to find out why it ticks! Fun for you, maybe fun for me!
Why do I like Twilight, the book(s!), the movie. OK, where's all the darned merch for the ladies, people? Bath salts, dresses, vampire makeup, colored contacts, Quileute jewelry, books on vampire lore, framed prints of the characters? I know they're on it, OK? I feel like a 6 year old, with new Happy Meal toys targeted relentlessly to them, helpless to the tractor beam. Scares me, actually. Already spent, what? 50 bucks total on the stupid franchise, and I want it to stop!
Anyway, Meyer got something with Bella's clumsiness/shyness. The girl every single teenage girl can relate to, especially if the growth plates in the bones aren't finished with their job yet or the hormones haven't calmed down. First love, do I even remember anymore? I had my heart broken by a bassoon player, people. Do I want to remember this? But it's nice that it works out for Bella. Edward, well, he's stuck in 1918 mentally, morally, which is also interesting.
It's good in a work of literature, when a topic is fresh and ripe for invention. The vampire thing is wacky already, and then Meyer made up her own rules on top. Endless. The mind reading, skin glittering, the superhuman movement, the interactions between 4 groups (human, werewolf, good vampires, bad vampires). And let's not forget the vampires that are neither good nor bad! Then there's the moral world the vampires are trying to dissect. Are they part of heaven anymore?
Why do I like Twilight, the book(s!), the movie. OK, where's all the darned merch for the ladies, people? Bath salts, dresses, vampire makeup, colored contacts, Quileute jewelry, books on vampire lore, framed prints of the characters? I know they're on it, OK? I feel like a 6 year old, with new Happy Meal toys targeted relentlessly to them, helpless to the tractor beam. Scares me, actually. Already spent, what? 50 bucks total on the stupid franchise, and I want it to stop!
Anyway, Meyer got something with Bella's clumsiness/shyness. The girl every single teenage girl can relate to, especially if the growth plates in the bones aren't finished with their job yet or the hormones haven't calmed down. First love, do I even remember anymore? I had my heart broken by a bassoon player, people. Do I want to remember this? But it's nice that it works out for Bella. Edward, well, he's stuck in 1918 mentally, morally, which is also interesting.
It's good in a work of literature, when a topic is fresh and ripe for invention. The vampire thing is wacky already, and then Meyer made up her own rules on top. Endless. The mind reading, skin glittering, the superhuman movement, the interactions between 4 groups (human, werewolf, good vampires, bad vampires). And let's not forget the vampires that are neither good nor bad! Then there's the moral world the vampires are trying to dissect. Are they part of heaven anymore?
Why I'm Obsessed, Part 2
What BIs am I obsessing over now? I love the blog community. The BIs are all getting answered over time. And Lainey keeps dropping hints. So I am content for the moment, or I just forgot.
I like the BIs because you get to see the real person behind that US/Star/In Touch lie. I am grateful for this. Plus it gives me something to do besides obsessing about my problems. Plus, I think observing how others succeed or fail based on their merits, and what they are, is an innately prehistoric feminine skill. You don't want to get banished like Tara Reid or Luke Wilson, so please show up for work sober and try to have some respect for yourself and not sleep with anything that walks. Hilton, anyone? It's good advice, really. The breathless way this crazy culture praises fame and material success makes everyone crazy for fame. You have to be really super careful. So it's good to see how those people eventually fall on their rears, and keep yourself humble.
I like the BIs because you get to see the real person behind that US/Star/In Touch lie. I am grateful for this. Plus it gives me something to do besides obsessing about my problems. Plus, I think observing how others succeed or fail based on their merits, and what they are, is an innately prehistoric feminine skill. You don't want to get banished like Tara Reid or Luke Wilson, so please show up for work sober and try to have some respect for yourself and not sleep with anything that walks. Hilton, anyone? It's good advice, really. The breathless way this crazy culture praises fame and material success makes everyone crazy for fame. You have to be really super careful. So it's good to see how those people eventually fall on their rears, and keep yourself humble.
Why I'm Obsessed
Why do I get so obsessed? I hate the polished patina that celebs present the world. I hate the way their agents lie to the press about their relationships. I mean, cmon. How long was Beyonce NOT officially in a relationship? And why not? Jay Z is a catch, OK? Weird. And Rihanna? Cmon! And I HATE that Aniston's rep lied so many times. I hate that Jessica Simpson's dad is such a tool and has so much power over her, which is destroying her life. I know the celeb thing is hard, OK? But it's like knowing your eye color, knowing if you're in a relationship. Right? I hate PR machines that string me along. I hate that Lohan's PR said she was drinking "kombucha" a year or so ago. I am addicted to Kombucha. Lohan is NOT a kombucha drinker, OK? Just not! I hate that Lohan is lying to the press now, claiming that she's clean, and that the press can enable her to stay sick. Once upon a time, back in the Bennifer #1 days, I read US Weekly religiously, and I got sick of reading what Benny Medina wanted me to know about her. Her weekly schedule! How early she gets up in the morning! What she cooks for Ben, and how normal she is! Puleeze. JLo was entirely PR manufactured, but in the process, she became oversaturated everywhere and it pissed me off. Don't get me wrong, there's the "glow" and she's charming and she has some innate rhythm/singing thing. But now she's a clotheshorse married to a spider monkey, OK? Boring! And I was bored in 2002, reading about every freaking bowel movement she made. Ugh!
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